Still Alive! (+ I’ll be at Gencon)

My dear friends, readers, supporters!

 

This world is in chaos as far as I’m concerned, and I’m still trying to return to a semblance of normalcy.

I have NOT given up on reviewing, and I hope I’ll be able to return to it this summer. That being said, I currently do not see myself returning to the self-imposed 3-5 reviews-per-workday schedule.

Why? Well, I’m somewhat obsessive, and at one point, I stressed myself out to an unhealthy degree. No matter how many reviews I wrote, I always felt like I’m not doing enough for the community. 30+ reviews? You’re slacking off! Where is the review you promised XYZ? Etc.

Nobody else imposed that pressure on me; it was all ME, falling down the rabbit hole of my own brain.

Ultimately, I ended up working crazy hours on reviews, in spite of not even earning 1/4 minimum wage per month. And I ENJOY that. I never was about the monetary side of things, but in this crazy world and me getting older, I have to prioritize work, etc. that actually allows me to keep the lights on.

That being said, I still feel that itch to critique great pdfs and books, and I can’t see myself abstaining for very much longer.

 

There is another thing I need to do: I need to apologize to my friends and supporters. To you, who is reading this. I am genuinely sorry.

I know many people have been concerned about me not logging on to Facebook. I only joined Facebook to keep in touch with people and friends throughout the world, and to post reviews…and beyond Facebook being a very negative, anxiety-inducing social media platform (except, of course, for my interactions with so many great friends out there!), I had no reviews, nothing to show…with increased the height of the mental barrier to log back onto FB. Essentially, I felt like I couldn’t afford the mental cost of logging on.

 

This is not an excuse, it’s just my attempt to explain to you what’s going on in my brain. I totally get that avoidance is not a healthy way of dealing with pretty much anything, but it’s all I managed to do. I do feel like I let some of you down, and if you worried about me, I’m both grateful and sorry for potentially causing you distress.

 

That being said, I will NEVER quit RPGs; I’m by now the lead developer for AAW Games, as some of you might have noticed, and I will continue to write, develop, and review books. AAW Games is also the reason why I can attend Gencon!

So yeah, if you see me at Gencon, feel free to say hi! I’ll be at AAW Games’ booth (#570), and otherwise wander the premises. (Since I’ll be wearing a mask: I have cut my hair by now.)

 

I hope to see you at Gencon, and if you don’t go, feel free to say hi online! 

Either way: THANK YOU for reading this and sticking with me.

 

Endzeitgeist out.

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